"All right, listen up, listen up. New sweepstake. Best suggestions for next member of Clinton's family to be offered a government job. So far, we've got Chelsea Clinton as head of joint chiefs of staff and Socks the cat as head of the space program."
―Opening line from Helen'll Fix It

The deputy sub-editor and general dogsbody. As a compulsive womaniser and gambler, he gets on very well with Henry, owing to these shared interests, and Damien, owing to his willingness to bet on outrageously tasteless things.

Dave and Henry have the only friendship that appears to extend beyond the office, although it can occasionally turn volatile — usually over gambling matters or women. Dave runs a large number of office books and sweepstakes, although outside the office his gambling has landed him in debt to the tune of several tens of thousands of pounds.

Dave has occasionally been very successful in his gambling but usually through his own actions manages to squander his good fortune. He is also addicted to one-night stands with married women, and sees any married female colleague or acquaintance as a challenge. These involvements rarely last long enough to qualify as affairs, since Dave seems to relish the chase. As a colleague put it, "[Dave doesn’t] want to get involved with anyone who could conceivably want to get involved back."

Although Dave clearly has the potential to be a highly competent professional, his career progress is continually hampered by these many weaknesses and addictions, and his generally irresponsible and childish behaviour. On rare occasions, however, Dave does develop real feelings for others.

After seducing a drunken Helen — initially just for the challenge of winning over a lesbian — he finds that he has a genuine attraction to her, and it takes him some time to recover when she tells him that their brief fling has simply helped her to reassure her of her homosexuality. He also gets engaged — despite serious doubts — in series 5; however he is shocked when his fiancee breaks up with him, claiming she had had no idea he would get so serious. Dave became assistant to Henry on his radio show when they left GlobeLink in 1998.

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