- "He's a devious bastard. People who use the term 'learning curve' are always devious bastards."
- ―Alex talking about Gus
Assistant editor and George’s second-in-command. The token "normal" person, Alex is determined, skilled and professional, if very cynical. She has a fierce temper, and can be violent when provoked. Married and divorced before the series begins, her ex-husband — now a slum landlord — reappears on one occasion to use Alex to thwart the broadcasting of a news story about his unlawful business practices. In response to this, Alex breaks his nose.
Alex was seemingly once a 'go-getter' but apparently ran out of steam, and the comfortable niche at GlobeLink means that while she talks about it a great deal, she rarely actually takes steps to genuinely rock the boat.
Alex’s mother (known only as "Mummy" or "Mrs. Pates" and, until the final episode of series 2, an unseen character) repeatedly interrupts important meetings with frivolous and bizarre telephone enquiries, such as whether she should stockpile petrol in the bath in response to rising fuel prices or whether signing up to the Social Chapter would mean having to use a squat toilet. In the very final moments of Series 2, the final series in which Alex appears, Mrs. Pates finally visits the GlobeLink office just in time to hear her daughter announcing to the office that she has had a one-night stand with Dave. Between Series 2 and 3, Alex leaves GlobeLink for the BBC, a 'betrayal' that causes Gus to Typex her out of all the office photos.